Parenting as a neurodivergent dad

Life on Hard Mode - a new newsletter for neurodivergent adults

tl;dr:

I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I’m writing about late-diagnosed neurodivergence in adults in my new newsletter—Life on Hard Mode.

If you are neurodivergent too, suspect you might be, or know someone who is, then I’m inviting you to join me over on Life on Hard Mode, or to share it with someone whom it might help.

So it’s been a while (again).

Firstly, I want to say a massive thank you to all of you for that time you pressed the Subscribe button on this newsletter—whether it was back in 2023 when I first launched it, or last week, nearly a year after my last post. I really do appreciate you all for doing so.

With that said, I have some news.

I always knew I was different from others. I struggled with socialising, especially with new people (see here for Exhibit A). Staying focused on tasks has always been like trying to wrestle a toddler into a pair of gloves. The world always felt too loud, too bright, and too itchy.

I blustered through life with all these difficulties, but it wasn’t until I became a dad that things really started to break down.

My executive function was shot to pieces. I started forgetting to pack essentials for the kids on trips out became a regular event. I started to misplace things more. Tantrums and meltdowns made my ears physically hurt. So many more new people I had to just speak to; but challenge if something wasn’t right for my child. Among so many other things—all started to make life really hard; harder than it already was.

I started doing some research into autism. This wasn’t just out of the blue; I’d always wondered about it since I was a teenager, eating lunch alone, willing myself to be social but being utterly incapable of doing so.

I thought it couldn’t be possible. Surely it’d have been picked up by now, right?

But then I stumbled across the term AuDHD: the presence of both autism and ADHD.

It shocked me - I’d never once considered ADHD as something I’d have. I wasn’t necessarily hyperactive, so surely not, right?

But the inattentive side of ADHD is more commonly occurring; something I had no idea about.

More research followed. More self-screening tools told me I should get assessed. More books I read resonated deeply within me.

Fast forward to last year, and the news that didn’t necessarily surprise me after all the research I’d done—but shocked me, nonetheless.

I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD.

So much made sense now. There was so much reframing of past experiences to do; and there still is. But it got me thinking - there must be other people like me. People who wrestled through so much in their life to get to a point in adulthood where they learn this life-changing piece of information about themselves; knowledge that would have made things potentially much easier much earlier.

It was like we’d all been living life on hard mode all this time.

I hesitate to say that this will be the last ever post on Some Other Dad. Parenting is a life-long journey, and I might find that I have more to say further down the line.

But for now, I have a whole lot to say about autism, ADHD and late-diagnosed neurodivergence.

That’s why I’ve started a new newsletter—Life on Hard Mode.

This might not be a relevant newsletter to you. If not, no worries.

But if you are also neurodivergent, you will want to check this out.

If you struggle with the same things that I do in life that I spoke about earlier, and you’re questioning whether you might be neurodivergent, you will want to check this out.

Maybe you have a child with a neurodivergent condition—if so, there’s a strong chance you are neurodivergent too.

Maybe you know someone who is neurodivergent, or is on the journey to discovering this.

If any of these apply to you, I’m inviting you to subscribe for free to Life on Hard Mode, or to share it with someone whom it might resonate with.

I’d love to see you there.

For now though, from Some Other Dad—it’s not goodbye, but see you later.