I literally dealt with this yesterday from my husbands family. It was our nieces birthday and many of us were there with our 3.5 year old and nearly 5 month old, and literally the first thing people said was “oh, look at the tiny boy! How much does he weigh? Is he eating enough?”. Fuck right off. Truly, when he was born we didn’t even put his size on the social media announcement. Why is that what is most important to people outside of healthcare? It’s immensely frustrating.
I think what makes it worse is that at some point trajectory changes and your kid is TOO heavy. At what point do people decide that the way things are is completely acceptable? When does it change?
That’s so frustrating! It’s as if people say these things like they’re never occurred to you, the parent of the child—as if you’re going to say “oh no you’re right I’m not feeding him enough, thanks for pointing it out!” 🙄
I wonder if it's not just a coping mechanism for polite conversation? Not that it's polite but at least it's observable to everyone in the room.....compared to say all those hours you are up to your ears in poop and 2 am feedings.
These measurements are an indicator of healthy development, not a statement of healthy development. I wish everyone could remember that.
And it's so easy to have these measurements be flawed - a big poop just before being weighed can shift the baby down off their curve! Where if they'd been weighed just 10 minutes earlier, they would have been fine
So I am definitely a gleeful mother to get percentile updates at all the well child exams. But one thing I've learned from being *into it* is how little difference in actual weight or height can change what percentile the baby is in. My youngest has 'fallen off' her height curve (20th to 12th) and now I watch our pediatrician like a hawk while measuring.
I literally dealt with this yesterday from my husbands family. It was our nieces birthday and many of us were there with our 3.5 year old and nearly 5 month old, and literally the first thing people said was “oh, look at the tiny boy! How much does he weigh? Is he eating enough?”. Fuck right off. Truly, when he was born we didn’t even put his size on the social media announcement. Why is that what is most important to people outside of healthcare? It’s immensely frustrating.
I think what makes it worse is that at some point trajectory changes and your kid is TOO heavy. At what point do people decide that the way things are is completely acceptable? When does it change?
Thanks for talking about this, Brad.
That’s so frustrating! It’s as if people say these things like they’re never occurred to you, the parent of the child—as if you’re going to say “oh no you’re right I’m not feeding him enough, thanks for pointing it out!” 🙄
I wonder if it's not just a coping mechanism for polite conversation? Not that it's polite but at least it's observable to everyone in the room.....compared to say all those hours you are up to your ears in poop and 2 am feedings.
These measurements are an indicator of healthy development, not a statement of healthy development. I wish everyone could remember that.
And it's so easy to have these measurements be flawed - a big poop just before being weighed can shift the baby down off their curve! Where if they'd been weighed just 10 minutes earlier, they would have been fine
Another aspect of life where people tend to be "couch experts". I fully get your point.
So I am definitely a gleeful mother to get percentile updates at all the well child exams. But one thing I've learned from being *into it* is how little difference in actual weight or height can change what percentile the baby is in. My youngest has 'fallen off' her height curve (20th to 12th) and now I watch our pediatrician like a hawk while measuring.